


Stole Away

by MayLovelies



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-08 23:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17990741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayLovelies/pseuds/MayLovelies
Summary: Hide, tired of pretending to be happy, finds someone else abandoned by Kaneki and gets lessons on how to let Kaneki go.





	Stole Away

It was one of those days when work was stressful and everything—even the pace of the CCG—seemed to move how Kaneki wanted it. Granted, Hide didn’t mind Kaneki’s position at the CCG or the leader of this new world—he was making a lot of great decisions and near everyone looked up to him.

But somewhere in the back of his mind, or the deepest depths of his heart—there was still a bit of anger, or even malice. Hide still felt like a side character to Kaneki’s life, and more than often it seemed like Kaneki only spoke to Hide if he needed something from him; other than that, their friendship was someone nonexistent. And of course, there was the small fact that…Hide still loved Kaneki. He loved him more than life itself. He knew Kaneki was married, with a child on the way, and that made working close to him painful. It in some instances, made him resent Kaneki.

That said, it was great for Hide to have days like this; days when he didn’t have to be at the CCG headquarters late.

On evenings like this, Hide was rather kept to himself, walking down familiar alleys and sidewalks and blending in with the endless sea of people.  Still concealed by his scarf and baggy clothes, he headed to a familiar cafe. As usual, he ordered his coffee and prepared to head home to drink it. Hide pushed through the small crowd of people and found himself back on the sidewalk, heading toward the direction of his house.

Deep in thought with Kaneki and the CCG on his mind,  he wasn’t paying attention. He’d walked for near ten minutes when he collided into a taller, stronger person. Hide fell back,  his drink flying everywhere; luckily the man he’d run into was standing tall, despite Hide’s coffee staining his dark blouse.

“I’m sorry.” Hide apologized.

“It’s fine…N…Nagachika?” The voice was familiar, and when Hide looked up, an investigator extended his hand to help Hide. As he got a clearer view, he realized it to be Urie Kuki.

“Investigator Urie!” Hide took hold of his arm as he was hoisted to his feet. “I really didn’t see you; I ruined your outfit.”

“Like I said, it’s fine.” His voice, as usual was low and quiet. There was a moment of awkward silence and Hide attempting to find something to say. He’d known Urie but wasn’t really friends with him. They’d speak every so often at the CCG, would pass by each other but other than that, nothing.

More so, it was so odd to see Urie in public–not directly tied to the CCG. As usual he wore the familiar black blouse hidden beneath his white jacket; his hair slightly ruffled due the collision with Hide. Now, his expression was bland–not tense as it usually was during a CCG meeting or whenever Hide happened to see him in the headquarters. Still, he started to feel just slightly awkward by the silence.

“Would you like me to get you another coffee?” Urie motioned toward the building he’d just left; it was an art gallery. Hide was rather confused, and Urie, catching on spoke. “There was a showing–the owner serves coffee at gallery showings. There’s a bit left over.”

“Sure.” Hide didn’t know what else to say, and followed Urie into the gallery. Near instantly he was hit with a blast of cool air as he stepped over the threshold and continued to follow the taller investigator.

“Wait here, I’ll be back.” Urie spoke blandly and vanished into what Hide supposed was the office or the work room of the shop. Hide felt odd for a few moments being in this gallery by himself however, he was easily distracted by the various paintings plastered on the wall, and standing on easels. As he moved around a bit more, there were some sculptures and projects hung from the ceiling and erected on small platforms. With such a variety of art, Hide did not know where to look–all he knew was that he was extremely captivated.

“We had a pretty good showing. A lot of people came.” Urie spoke, catching Hide’s attention. “Couldn’t help but notice you staring.”

“You work here?” Hide asked, taking the coffee that Urie had gotten for him. He hadn’t ever heard of an investigator working two jobs; it was strange to him.

“I volunteer, and sometimes my paintings are showcased here.”

“I never knew you were an artist.” Hide spoke, taking the coffee Urie had made for him.

“I have to be. Working at the CCG alone…would make me go crazy. Painting is how I cope with a lot of what I’ve gone through, what’s happening now. And coming here…it makes things, easier. It’s like a breath of fresh air from the CCG, from Sasa–I mean, Kaneki.” It was then, Urie bit his lip. “I’m sorry, I know you and Kaneki are–”

“It’s fine.” HIde held up a hand, shaking his head. “More or less…I…I know how you feel, about Kaneki and everything that is happening. I guess it’s good to know someone else feels the same way.”

It was then, Urie relaxed, or at least from what Hide could tell. In silence, they both stared at an obscure painting for a few moments before Urie spoke. “There are some benches further in the gallery…would you like to sit, and talk?”

“Yes.” Hide didn’t even hesitate. “I need someone to speak to about everything that’s been going on.”

It took all of ten seconds for the two to get situated; Hide’s hands clutching his coffee as if the emotions he attempted to repress were all coming to him now. For so long, he’d felt this way; a mixture of anger, jealousy and just exhaustion. He smiled for Kaneki, he always supported what he did–but it could only be for so long. At least, until he had someone to speak to.

“I have nothing but respect for Kaneki–” Hide lied. “He was my best friend, still is but–”

“I think you should start being honest with yourself, Nagachika.” Urie spoke. “That smile, your laughter–everything…I can see past it. I don’t doubt your the type of person who can hide your emotions and trick those around you but, I can always see past those people. All I had to do, was see how much you did for Kaneki and I knew.”

“Knew what?” Hide, again, was left rather speechless. He had a feeling that Urie was the intuitive type from what he’d heard of him. But damn, Hide had no idea he was that easy to read–at least to someone like Urie.

“That you loved him. You still love him.” Urie sighed.

Hide shrugged. “That is pretty common knowledge–I’m pretty sure everyone knows that I love Kaneki.”

“Yeah, but not everyone knows how much it hurts you to see him with his wife, and his unborn child.”

Hide tensed just a bit, and Urie continued.

“You gave up so much for him, and to know that he still sees you as secondary–not just to his wife but to the others–the ghouls…how can that not bring you pain?”

There was a bit of silence and Hide, after thinking of how to diffuse the situation, laughed before he spoke. “I must wear my emotions on my sleeve, right?”

“No, it isn’t that at all.” Urie spoke, sympathetically. “I know, to an extent..how you feel. How it feels to be ignored and forgotten by Kaneki when he no longer needs you. You forget Nagachika–he was once my squad leader….and…he left us when we needed him the most, and then he left, to go back with the ghouls.” He shook his head. “Kaneki said something to me…about the death of Shirazu…that I can never forgive him for. I can’t forgive him for leaving us…but you see, I have to pretend to. I have to smile at him, agree with him…be civil with him…” Urie scoffed, leaning back into the chair and gazing up at the ceiling. “I have to forgive him…if i don’t…ugh, it’s just what everyone’s expected to do. Forgive him, the ghouls…forgive and forget…I hate this. I fought my life to kill ghouls–ghouls who hurt people, and I have to work with them now?”

That was the first time during their conversation that Urie actually sounded angry. But Hide, knew exactly how he felt.

“I can’t say I’m innocent…you know I helped Kaneki in making this ‘new world’…now I regret it.”

“You did what you thought was right for your friend and for that, I commend you.”

Things fell silent again and Hide thought. He really considered just what it meant for investigators, like Urie to work with ghouls that they’d spent their life fighting. Hide was aware that by default, not all ghouls were bad just like not all humans were. Yet, Aogiri, the clowns, the white suits, V, the Gourmet Restaurant…those ghouls, and so much more like them targeted innocent people and ghouls. Those were the ghouls that th CCG was after, the ghouls that made life difficult for humans…and other ghouls.

And to think that…the investigators were being made to work with them.

“If this was a book…it would be a poorly written climax.”

“Yeah.” Hide inclined, his shoulders slumping.

“I also know how it feels, to watch the person you love happy with someone else.” Urie admitted. “Well, I knew how it felt…god isn’t it an awful feeling?”

“Urie…did you love Kane–”

“No!” Urie quickly shook his head. “It was…it was Kuroiwa. Takeomi…Kuroiwa. Granted I was also envious of him at the same time but there was always something else I felt. And when he married Yoriko…I…I realized. Yoriko is a sweet person and we talk a lot. She nor Takeomi know how I feel and to be fair, I still love him but I’ve let him go.” He grinned. “I found someone else, some time ago. And I feel better.”

“Was it easy for you to you know, let go of him? Of Kuroiwa?”

“No it wasn’t–but holding on to him almost made me lose the person I love. He almost left me because I was still trying to go after Kuroiwa–a married man.”

Hide thought for a while, feeling a little lighter knowing that he was not alone. He wondered if his whole point of being around Kaneki, was in the hopes that perhaps one day, he’d leave his family and they’d live happily together. Yet, that was a childish dream filled with desperation. If anything , he’d end up like Urie–watching his life pass by and losing what he loved.

However, that was the thing–outside of Kaneki, what did Hide love most? Certainly not himself…or anything. Hide’s whole life, as terrifying as it was, revolved around Kaneki.

“You should go.” Urie spoke.

“Leave the gallery?”

“No..no…leave Japan. I think the only reason you’re still here is because of Kaneki, right? I’ve seen how you act or don’t act around people in the CCG–you have no relationships with anyone there. No close relationships that is. You only exist to stay with Kaneki and then, when he goes back to his friends…you either leave or sit around awkwardly. You should leave, go after your own life–find your own path. You can’t want to stay here in Kaneki’s shadow all your life…can you?”

There was a pause from Hide, beckoning Urie to continue.

“Look, if you stay, you’re going to end up like me. Missing out on a new chance and a new life.”  Both exhaled and again, that quietness returned but it wasn’t tense nor strange. If anything, Hide invited it and Urie could tell he was in deep thought. Hide had known that Urie was right, and there was no shame in admitting to himself.  Yet, he had no idea where he’d go or what he’d do…acknowledging the problem was one thing, but leaving…actually leaving everything behind was another.

“I’m engaged now. He isn’t just my partner…we’re engaged and I’m happy. He’s the owner of this gallery but he’s actually gone now, perhaps one day you can meet him.” Urie smiled, cutting through Hide’s thoughts. “Perhaps your happiness won’t be an engagement but…it can be something else. Freedom from this…freedom from Kaneki.”

“Congratulations on your engagement! I mean it…that has to be amazing, to find love again!”

“It is.” Urie nodded before finally, speaking again. “We’re going to Paris next month for a vacation…he likes to go to all these well known places and apparently has been to Paris multiple times. He wants to take me. Saiko and Tooru are coming–I’m pretty sure he won’t mind another person tagging along. We can help you pay. And who knows, it can be a step to your new life and if not, then you’re getting a breath of fresh air.”

Hide wanted to decline, truly he did, but he also loved the idea of leaving Tokyo–not a thought of Kaneki on his mind. He’d commonly spoken to Yonebayashi and Tooru–perhaps he could get closer to them on this trip.

“I’d love to go!”

“Great.” Urie smiled. “For all you’ve done Nagachika–I think it will be good for you.”

The two spoke a bit more and then, Urie offered to walk Hide home and the two found themselves talking more about little things, their trip to Paris and simply happier things in general.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a part of a larger story. things end up well for hide and kaneki but like--thats only if i end up writing that part lmao.


End file.
